Mothers (05/09/07)

Dear Zelda,

My mom wants to become a drummer in a rock band and I don't think, at her age (40's) it's right.  She has always loved beating on things, (not me thankfully), but like pots and pans, tables, doors, etc.  She has been a single mom for 10 years and bought a set of drums about 5 years ago.  She's actually pretty good, but I can't imagine what my friends will think when I tell them my mom is playing the drums with a group of long-haired guys at a local bar.

How can I convince her to drop the drum idea?

Missing a Beat

Dear Missing a Beat,

Hey, go mom!  Our applause to anyone who discovers a passion in their life, and it sounds as if your mother has.  Being a drummer in a rock band obviously isn't the image you have for your mother, but maybe she is ready to move on to another identity.   Just remember how you felt when "mom" was calling the shots for judgments, mom's version of 'hip' clothes, and what about those grades?  Sometimes the closer you are to someone the more critical you can be. So get outside of yourself.  Think about what will make mom happy, and be happy for her. The best gift you could give her this Mother's Day would be your unconditional and loving support as she pursues her dream. You might even drum up some business for her band.   

In life we can all lighten up a little where our families and friends are concerned.  It's a good thing to  march to the beat of a different drummer.  So what if the drummer just happens to be your mom.


Hi Zelda,

For Mother's Day this year the doctors have told my mum she has cancer, any words of wisdom for my Sad Mum?

Devastated Daughter in Australia

Dear Devastated Daughter,

For your mother, ("mum"), to learn she has cancer was not the news she needed to hear for Mother’s Day, or any other day for that matter. As her daughter you can help your mother by pulling together a Mom Team.  Get in touch with your siblings, your friends, and your mother’s friends to form a support group for her.  Studies have shown that a person who has friends and family rooting for them stand a better chance of recovery.  

Also  you and the Mom Team can do research via the library and the internet.  Learn as much as you can about your mother’s type of cancer, about treatment options and even different doctors.  Be positive and forge ahead.  Help your mother write a plan of attack.  Look for the best doctors and the best research. Find out if there are any clinical trials going on related to her disease and if she is eligible to participate. If her doctor doesn't know, talk with someone who does and never give up hope. You and the Mom Team should play to win this battle.

In the meantime, make the most of every day by spending more time with her and scheduling more memor-a-bull occasions together. I've always believed that we should enjoy life, because this is not a rehearsal and I think it's even more important during difficult times. This Mother’s Day celebrate the good times you’ve shared with her by creating a “mom” scrapbook of great memories or by looking at old home movies or videos. Let her know that you are ready to work with her to fight and beat the ugly cancer demon through your love and your caring.

The battle ahead won't be easy, but with the Mom Team behind her, your mother will have more strength, more confidence and more fight to face her pernicious enemy...and WIN!

I’m with you all the way.  Go Mom Team!


Dear Zelda,

My dog, Juicy, had a litter of puppies two weeks ago.  I had no idea when we bred her, that it would be so much work.  Can you please give me some time saving tips on taking care of six little beagle puppies?  We are exhausted.

Too Pooped to Puppy

Dear Too Pooped to Puppy,

I have some 'Juicy' news for you.  Puppies take time and patience.  But for you this news is coming a little after the event, huh? So first get used to the fact that your time should revolve around the care of those little baby beagles and their beleaguered mother.

Now, I'm assuming you've done your homework and  that your two week old puppies are healthy and happy.  That said, one of the best time saving tips I can give you is to go out and buy a baby monitor.  If you can't spend 24/7 watching the little critters and you want to get some shut eye, the baby monitors work wonders.    

Another time saving tip is to ask your friends for some help.  Puppies are adore-a-bull and people love to play with puppies.  Schedule short periods of time for your friends to spend with Juicy and her pups so that you can run errands and take a break from all that puppy love and care.

Finally, I have one bit of canine counsel, (after all you asked me didn't you?): never become complacent because that's usually when trouble sets in.  Keep in touch with your veterinarian before doing anything you are unsure of.  Time spent staying in touch with your vet will be time saved taking care of problems that could have been avoided.

The good news is that the care of your two week old puppies is going to get easier, and their fetching faces will just get cuter and cuter.   Before you know it those badly behavin' baby beagles will turn into happy, healthy hounds. Savor this time and send me photos.


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