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Dear Zelda, When it comes to buying gifts, my husband always delays - waiting for the right price or for the item to go on sale. My birthday was in June and now it's November. Our anniversary was last month and his excuse was, “Soon, honey, soon.” Christmas is just around the corner and I don't think I will get all three gifts on December 25th. He's always been delaying and I always forgive him. Am I just being selfish to want him to get me gifts for special occasions? It doesn't have to be expensive or extravagant, just a nice lovely card, romantic dinner or a bouquet of flowers. Help!!! I can't take it anymore!!!! Sincerely hanging on, Giftless & Gloomy Dear Giftless, Groucho Marx once said, “The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth closed and his checkbook open.” Sweetie, your husband could take a lesson from Marx’s ‘mini manifesto’ and start being more thoughtful on meaningful occasions. All his “Soon, honey, soon” stuff is sounding like a load of bull! So let’s take this, uh… bull by the horns and face your problem directly. First, sit down and make a list of what gifts you would like to receive from your husband for your now-belated birthday and anniversary. You said that each gift “doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant” and you suggested a “nice card, a romantic dinner or a bouquet of flowers.” Let’s go for all three. Check your husband’s calendar, select a night when nothing is scheduled and tell him you are planning a surprise for him that evening. Make reservations at your favorite restaurant. Select and purchase the kind of loving, sentimental card you’ve been dreaming about and pen in the message you’ve been hoping your hubby might write. Sign it “with much love from your thoughtful husband.” Finally, order a magnificent bouquet of flowers and have the florist send the flower arrangement to you on the day of your romantic dinner. Go ahead and splurge because this is a very ‘special occasion.’ Also, if you can think of a thoughtful gift you’d like to receive, buy it, have it wrapped, and bring it to dinner. You might also think of bringing him a gift, so it doesn’t seem like the whole purpose of the night is to rub it in his face. This has to be a memorable event, and while it should be filled with fun, it should also send a powerful message. If your husband can laugh with you over your strategy, hopefully he’ll recognize how important a thoughtful gift is to you, even if you need to explain it outright. Then when the next special occasion comes around he might (to quote Hallmark) “care enough to give you the very best!” Zelda Dear Zelda, I have a nine-month-old bulldog named “Roxie,” and I wanted to design a personal calendar of her for the family for the holidays. Can you give me any advice on how to get my bulldog to like clothes and props as well as take great pictures in a short amount of time? What’s your secret? Thanks, Roxie’s Proxy Dear Roxie’s Proxy, You came to the right dog for tips on takin’ photos of Roxie! I’ve been posing for pictures so long now that when I’m not in front of the camera I think something’s wrong, and check in the mirror to see if I’ve left food on my face. In the beginning, however, my owner needed to work with me and teach me that posing for pictures is not only fun, but that by being the perfect posing pooch I could become the center of everyone’s attention. It didn’t take long for me to catch on and to connect the camera with fun and with tasty rewards. My recommendation is that you start with something simple. Just get Roxie to “sit” while you take her photo. If someone else can help you, it will be easier. You need to chop some lean Puperoni into small pieces, or use any other healthy small treat Roxie likes, and while you are taking photos of Roxie reward her frequently. Your first photo shoot shouldn’t last more than a few minutes. For the next photo shoot, tell Roxie that it’s time to “WORK.” By using a familiar command she will relate it to a good experience… complete with rewards and praise. You might tie a scarf around her neck, ask her to “sit” and take a few more shots followed by tiny pieces of treats. Personally, my favorite time for photo shoots is early in the morning. I’m fresh and there are fewer distractions. Try to use the same plain backdrop so that Roxie will recognize the site and know what is expected. Also a plain background will be better for your calendar images. By now Roxie should be getting the picture, so when you say it’s time to “WORK” she’ll be rearin’ to pose. Roxie will be ready to ‘don some more gay apparel’ and you can add a Santa hat or a reindeer-antler headband. By the way, Shane Young, my incredibly talented photographer, usually takes photos of me while he is laying on the floor in front of me. Another important word to repeat to Roxie is “STAY.” Should Roxie decide she’s had enough, you can often get a couple more shots in by saying “STAY” in a firm, but loving voice. The important thing to remember is consistency and reward. Don’t say “CHEESE” to Roxie… say “PLEASE” and she will become your supermodel and best buddy. Seriously, when my owner tells me we are going to “WORK” the next day, I wake her early and can’t wait to get to the studio. Posing for pictures is clearly my passion, and it can be Roxie’s too. Best of luck, and be sure to send us some of the results! Zelda Share this column with a friend! |
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